I used to be so crazy about getting married. But my nightmare woke me up yesterday. In that dream, there was never a proposal. I was in the photo studio trying wedding dresses. I did not feel like what other brides felt. I was not happy at all. I was not allowed to make up. Someone said that I looked ugly on the wedding gown that i chose. There were so much pressure.When I woke up, I felt that, if I were to have such a wedding day, I would rather not have it at all. It was so real. I mean, it could be real. Perhaps, I am not as desperate as I thought. 

Another weekend passed. And it was not a happy weekend. Maybe the good thing about working is to be able to shorten your unhappy weekend. And the bad thing about working is not to be able to spend a longer happy weekend.

I finally found myself a job. As usual, no matter what you have, you want more. Humans can never be satisfied. It's weird. No matter where I am working, I always feel like quitting. Am I a quitter? Maybe.

 I've always worried about this and that. Always wanted my parents to set me free. I've sort of "have-it-all" now. And really understand it when I was forced to set someone free. What is meant to be is meant to be. If it's not meant to be, don't force it.

I've also learned that people say shits to you when they are angry and you do the same too. Yeah, sometime it hurts. Sometimes they mean it and sometimes you meant it too. BUT, sometimes they only meant it at that particular time. After that, you might not even remember it. The bottom line is, Just don't care!

I've read a magazine lately, about how mood swings affect women when they grew older. They become more rebellious and tend to say NO more often. I guess that's why "sweet gentle soft" girls become FIERCE moms when they grew older. Is that good or bad? hhmm.... I don't know. But now I know the answer to why I have PMS now and not 3 years ago. 

People might think that I'm insane. But I have this naughty little thought. If I cannot take annual leave during CNY, I want to quit my job so that I can go back to celebrate CNY. hahhahohoho..yea. I'm insane.

Yesterday, I called mom to ask her about what chinese herbs to boil, for my dry throat and nose. She suggested that I eat yin chiao tablets that I brought over from Malaysia. She said that I might fall sick soon.

Today, she and dad called me several times while I was sleeping. They were very worried about me. As usual, dad pretends that he wasn't worried. But he kept saying "Go to see the doctor la... you dont need to pay anyway.. blablabla". Mom asked me to call back more often.

I still have that "post-interview syndrome". I can't wait for them to give me an answer. I really hope that  I will get a full time job soon. I hate working in Subway. 

Hate my boss so much. I go to work everyday to bitch about him. Hhhmm....it was fun though. I am closer to my colleages and dare to speak up and joke around with them now. hehehe.

But I still feel like leaving ASAP. That idiot cut down my hours week by week. From 29 to 25 to 21 to 19 to 15??? What the hell? How can I survive by just working 15 hours? Damn it... 

But, like chinese saying, ¤ÑµLµ´¤H¤§¸ô . I got an interview on Tuesday. I don't dare to put too much hope on it this time. Everybody has already got their full time job except for me. I really want to have a full time job ASAP.

I don't wanna listen to all the shitz my sister said about me, going to HK. I don't wanna give my sister anymore chance to say that I'm not giving enough $$$ to my parents. !@(!*#(*!@#(*!@!!! I wanna shut her mouth!!~