prawn_ch's Xanga

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 17:08:00 GMT

I used to be so crazy about getting married. But my nightmare woke me up yesterday. In that dream, there was never a proposal. I was in the photo studio trying wedding dresses. I did not feel like what other brides felt. I was not happy at all. I was not allowed to make up. Someone said that I looked ugly on the wedding gown that i chose. There were so much pressure.When I woke up, I felt that, if I were to have such a wedding day, I would rather not have it at all. It was so real. I mean, it could be real. Perhaps, I am not as desperate as I thought.

Another weekend passed. And it was not a happy weekend. Maybe the good thing about working is to be able to shorten your unhappy weekend. And the bad thing about working is not to be able to spend a longer happy weekend.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 09:45:37 GMT

I finally found myself a job. As usual, no matter what you have, you want more. Humans can never be satisfied. It's weird. No matter where I am working, I always feel like quitting. Am I a quitter? Maybe.

I've always worried about this and that. Always wanted my parents to set me free. I've sort of "have-it-all" now. And really understand it when I was forced to set someone free. What is meant to be is meant to be. If it's not meant to be, don't force it.

I've also learned that people say shits to you when they are angry and you do the same too. Yeah, sometime it hurts. Sometimes they mean it and sometimes you meant it too. BUT, sometimes they only meant it at that particular time. After that, you might not even remember it. The bottom line is, Just don't care!

I've read a magazine lately, about how mood swings affect women when they grew older. They become more rebellious and tend to say NO more often. I guess that's why "sweet gentle soft" girls become FIERCE moms when they grew older. Is that good or bad? hhmm.... I don't know. But now I know the answer to why I have PMS now and not 3 years ago.

People might think that I'm insane. But I have this naughty little thought. If I cannot take annual leave during CNY, I want to quit my job so that I can go back to celebrate CNY. hahhahohoho..yea. I'm insane.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Thu, 25 May 2006 12:59:00 GMT

Yesterday, I called mom to ask her about what chinese herbs to boil, for my dry throat and nose. She suggested that I eat yin chiao tablets that I brought over from Malaysia. She said that I might fall sick soon.

Today, she and dad called me several times while I was sleeping. They were very worried about me. As usual, dad pretends that he wasn't worried. But he kept saying "Go to see the doctor la... you dont need to pay anyway.. blablabla". Mom asked me to call back more often.

I still have that "post-interview syndrome". I can't wait for them to give me an answer. I really hope that I will get a full time job soon. I hate working in Subway.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Fri, 19 May 2006 10:59:53 GMT

Hate my boss so much. I go to work everyday to bitch about him. Hhhmm....it was fun though. I am closer to my colleages and dare to speak up and joke around with them now. hehehe.

But I still feel like leaving ASAP. That idiot cut down my hours week by week. From 29 to 25 to 21 to 19 to 15??? What the hell? How can I survive by just working 15 hours? Damn it...

But, like chinese saying, ¤ÑµLµ´¤H¤§¸ô . I got an interview on Tuesday. I don't dare to put too much hope on it this time. Everybody has already got their full time job except for me. I really want to have a full time job ASAP.

I don't wanna listen to all the shitz my sister said about me, going to HK. I don't wanna give my sister anymore chance to say that I'm not giving enough $$$ to my parents. !@(!*#(*!@#(*!@!!! I wanna shut her mouth!!~

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Sun, 14 May 2006 12:45:08 GMT

That day, I called mom and dad very late at night. Dad picked up the phone and was very worried. They were worried that I might have met with an accident or something. I called mom again the next day. She kept asking me if I called for emergency that night. And she kept asking if I need money. I said no.What Darling said was right, no matter what you did, who you are, where you are, mom and dad still loves you very much. They are still the greatest in the world.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 05:09:25 GMT

Today was quite a frustrating day.... I am getting more and more impatient. I don't like to be told what to do... I like to boss around!! hahaha... hhmm.. wait til I own my own business man.... and BOSS people around! Wahahahha.. YEAYYY!!!

WooOo.... William knows how to cook alot of dishes.... hohoho.. more than 30 dishes we counted yesterday !!~ WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaOooww...heheh... looking forward to have today's VSOP beef.. hahah... I am so.... "wai sek"... hahaha...

My mind is all job applications and FOOD...no mood to study at all!!~

Friday, April 14, 2006

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 05:08:34 GMT

It feels like I am carrying 100000000000000000 kgs burden on my shoulders. I tried to massage, hit... whatever to make it less stiff, but it doesn't work at all.

I don't want to tell anyone in detail. Because, if I did, they will say that I deserve it, or maybe ..."it is what you should have expected.... cause you chose this".... (say "I deserve it" in a better way).

Damn it.... I hate this........ Why can't something good happen to me? I've already made my efforts. What else should I do? I feel very stressed. I don't want to tell anyone. I know that they will think that they are more stressed than me, and will ask me to shut up.

Sometimes I love who I am because I am different from the others. Sometimes, I also asked "Why do I wanna be different? Is different good?". I dont know.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 05:04:17 GMT

I just submitted all the applications. Tiring!!~.... Even though no mood, still have to do. My bullshit skills was boosted up to maximum level. Hope I can really get a good job.

I love my family. I love my friends. But I am not sad staying here. It's a big challenge to me. Though sometimes I might still 'fat tin', I realised that I've been really strong overall. My aim this year, is different from last year. I want to do something for myself. I want to achieve something for myself.

I've started to be familliar with the Aussie lifestyle. I could talk more rubbish with my colleages. Well, it's not that bad after all. It's all about your "capacity to adapt" or "willingness to adapt". Don't keep looking back. Look forward!!~ Make tomorrow a better day!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 13:07:58 GMT

Now I realised why people say there are alot of things you can't do ... or you won't do when you get old.

I try to ask myself..... are you afraid? No I am not. But as ppl grow older, they tend to look for security. Or they tend to be grateful of what they have now. They won't try things such as the roller coaster. They prefer to sit down and watch the dolphins.

Am I that old, or am I still young? Well, I don't know.

I don't fear change. But I don't like it either.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 00:17:32 GMT

It has been a few days since I last met my ji muiz... hehe... Miss them very much!! All the "LDPs".Our friendship is forever so beautiful and CRAZY.
We really did what we wanted to do. To gamble whole night and eat DIM SUM the next day. But we still haven't "sing K" and go to Genting Highlands.
Hhmm... I think Genting Highlands is not possible but "sing K" maybe yes. My jimuiz.... we can hang out whole night and talk rubbish whole night... Nothing much changed between us. It's just that more and more ji muiz become very "LAN DOU"... sei LAN DOU PORs!!

I had lots of fun with my ji muiz, spent some precious time with my younger sister, no arguments with my elder sister, and showed my parents my bf. Chinese New Year is forever the best days of the year for me.

I feel so "cool".... I'll be leaving next friday but I don't feel sad because "Unhappy things dont have to be repeated, Happy things too, dont have to be repeated".
I think this 3 weeks holiday is one of the best holidays I've ever had. It's not too long for me to have time to think rubbish and not too short for me to spend time with my love ones.

New life ahead...... or probably No life ahead? I don't know.